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A Pokemon Trainer's Life: a poem

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A Pokemon Trainer's Life: a poem Empty A Pokemon Trainer's Life: a poem

Post by ashketchumlovergirl Fri Jan 08, 2010 3:21 pm

I decided I'd try writing a poem....Tell me what you guys think of it!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own pokemon....pokemon is owned by Game Freak and Nintendo....though i wish i did own it :3

A Pokemon Trainer's Life

The sun is rising
The beauty of the dewdrops
The rush of a adventure beginning
There are battles to be won and lessons to learn
This is the beauty of a Pokemon Trainer's life

The sun is high in the sky
My partner Pikachu and best friends by my side
An ambitious Trainer challenges me to a battle
We take our places, and the battle begins
As we call out our attacks, the Pokemon carry them out with grace and confidence
This is the beauty of a Pokemon Trainer's life

The sun is setting
Nurse Joy welcomes us into the Pokemon Center with open arms
She heals our Pokemon and feeds us hot soup
I talk to the other Trainers about Pokemon
And as I tuck under the covers, the last thought I think before I go to bed is.....
This is the beauty of a Pokemon Trainer's life
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Post by Moshda Mon Jan 11, 2010 9:46 am

Hehe, you really like Pokemon, huh? Ok, a few things:

1st stanza, 3rd line:
"a adventure" should be
"an adventure"
Remember, when the word coming after the article "a" begins with a vowel sound, change "a" to "an"!

2nd stanza, 2nd line:
"My partner Pikachu and best friends by my side"
might sound better rhythmically as
"My partner Pikachu and best friends are by my side

2nd stanza, 5th line:
"As we call out our attacks, the Pokemon carry them out with grace and confidence".
The rhythm on this line could use some cleaning up. The rest of the lines have a nice dum-da-dum-da-dum kind of rhythm, but this line is long and it's a bit choppy. Maybe you could switch the words around, like
"The Pokemon carry out the attacks we call with confidence and grace"

3rd stanza, 5th line:
"And as I tuck under the covers, the last thought I think before I go to bed is..."
Might sound better as:
"And as I tuck under the covers, the last thought I think is..."
You don't really need 'before I got to bed' since technically, you already are in bed :p

Very nice! I really like the imagery you used in the first stanza, what with the dewdrops and the rush of adventure. Just remember to add in punctuation where necessary. At the minimum, you at least need to put a period at the end of the last line of each stanza, otherwise it looks like a 3-stanza run-on sentence. Wink
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Post by desabob116 Fri May 20, 2011 12:28 pm

I think your poem was great. Smile
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