~Death's Caress~

Hey guys. This is technically an intro to a story I'm gonna start writing, but I thought I'd post it here until I have more of the actual novel done. Hope you like it!

-D.R.
~*~

I'm going to die. I know that now. As I struggle to stay conscious, I also struggle away from death. But it wont work, and I understand that. I try to accept it.

The pain, oh the pain. It's becoming excruciating. I can almost feel the cold brush of Death against my skin, hear it's harsh laughter at my agony. As I listen to the fighting around me -swords clanging, arrows whizzing by, the crunch as bones are broken- I can almost see the dark shadowy shape slithering around the bodies, sucking their souls out, sending them to the other world. I whimper in terror.

His laugh rings through my ears, and I know it will be the last thing I ever hear.
~*~

I need name suggestions for this part, if I end up leaving it just as a short story. I was thinking maybe Deaths' Caress, but am very open to other options. Let me know if you think of any!

Wow. You've done a really great job, especially with setting the mood. The descriptions are great--I feel like I can see and hear everything going on. I really liked the phrase "the dark shadowy shape" --nice alliteration!

I like the title, Death's Caress. It's really good, and I'd love to see more! ^_^

This is a really good story! It really hooks you! I would love to see more!