my new story chapter two

This one's long....R&R!

Chapter Two
“Wake up, lass!” A middle-aged woman with short red hair and wearing an aviator’s outfit was slapping Carly’s face.

“Wh.....what....?” Carly sat and coughed up some water.

“Easy there.” The woman said, supporting her.

“Where am I?” Carly asked, looking around. She was inside a big glass dome with a ton of other people in ship uniforms, playing card games. She looked out of the glass and there were schools of fish and dolphins swimming around in the water outside of the dome.

“You’re under the sea, honey. I’ve been here for seventy-three years.” The woman said.

“But you don’t look.....” Carly started, then looked down at Adrian lying next to her.

“Adrian!!” Carly cried, sitting down and shaking him. “Adrian, wake up!!”

“Don’t you worry about him. He’s okay. He woke up nearly half an hour before you did, but he passed out in fright, poor boy.” The woman shook her head.

“Who are you?” Carly asked.

“Who am I? You should have heard of me. I’m Amelia Earhart.” The woman said proudly.

“Oh yes, I’ve heard of you! You were the first woman who crossed solo across the Atlantic Ocean and set a bunch of flight records!! I’m a big fan!” Carly said excitedly.

“Oh really? Well I’m glad to see at least another girl in this place. There’s too many men here.” Amelia Earhart wrinkled her nose in distaste at the men playing cards.

“Well.....how’d you get here?” Carly asked.

“Well, I was flying above the ocean right between Florida and Puerto Rico when suddenly this enormous gust of wind took my plane and I went down into the sea. So then I ended up in here, and this merman took me down into this throne room where they asked what I was doing here, and I said I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do, so they told me about this prophecy, and I said that I had never heard of it.” Amelia Earhart said.

“Prophecy.....?” Carly asked.

“Yes....my memory is fuzzy, but I remember something about how during the reign of the current sea king, two humans shall appear to deliver the ocean world. And apparently one of them wasn’t me.” Amelia said.

“Mermen, huh?” Carly asked. “So they exist?”’

“Oh yes.” Amelia nodded. Adrian groaned and turned onto his stomach, then pushed himself up onto his hands and knees.

“Adrian! You’re okay!” Carly hugged him tightly. Adrian coughed a little bit, then sat down.

“I had the weirdest.....dream......wait a second......” Adrian looked around, then his eyes widened. “I’m still dreaming.”

“No you’re not.” Carly pinched him. “See?”

“Oh my God. OhmyGodohmyGodohmy....” Adrian’s face slowly began to turn pale.

“Adrian, it’s okay!” Carly said. “We’re under the sea in this glass dome, and...”

“No, this isn’t okay! Wha.....what are we going to do?? How’d we get here???” Adrian looked around the dome, all panicked.

“Calm down, we’ll be alright. Don’t worry, we’ll get out of here somehow. Amelia, do you know just how far below under the sea we are?” Carly asked.

“Oh, I have no idea to be honest.” Amelia said.

“Amelia.....Earhart?!” Adrian gasped.

“Yes, that’s me.” Amelia said proudly.

“No way.....this isn’t possible....” Adrian gulped. “How could you have lived this long?”

“I don’t know.” Amelia shrugged. “It’s weird. Nobody here, as far as I know, has ever died.”

“That’s creepy and irrational.” Carly frowned. Suddenly, a small hatch in the floor opened, and a black-haired boy about her age stuck his head out of it. He pulled himself out of the hole and sat on the ground. His chest was bare, and where his legs should have been was an emerald-green tail. Carly stared at him. He was extremely handsome.

“You two.” He gestured to her and Adrian. “Come with me.”

“Um.....How?” Carly asked.

“Come over here.” The merman said. Carly, in a trance, began to walk toward him. Adrian grabbed her arm.

“Wait. How do we know we can trust him?” Adrian asked.

“How else are we going to get out of here?” Carly hissed. Adrian sighed, then let go of her arm. Carly sat down next to the merman.

“Take these.” The merman handed them each a small yellow mask. “With these you can breathe underwater.” Carly pulled hers over her face and Adrian did the same.

“Who are you?” Carly asked.

“Call me Brayden. Now let’s go.” The merman said, pulling them down into the cold water.

May I ask-- did you watch Night at the Museum 2 before writing this?

Very interesting chapter!

Watch out for run-on sentences:

So then I ended up in here, and this merman took me down into this throne room where they asked what I was doing here, and I said I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do, so they told me about this prophecy, and I said that I had never heard of it.

You should definitely break this up into smaller, separate sentences. Maybe reword it so it's something like:

So, I ended up here. This merman took me down into a throne room, where they asked me all sorts of questions--such as what I was doing in this part of the world. I told them I had absolutely no idea what was going on. They told me about a prophecy, but I had never heard of it.

Be careful not to overuse the word "this".