~Death's Caress~

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~Death's Caress~

Post by Delilah Roze on Sat Jun 12, 2010 5:13 pm

Hey guys. This is technically an intro to a story I'm gonna start writing, but I thought I'd post it here until I have more of the actual novel done. Hope you like it!

-D.R.
~*~

I'm going to die. I know that now. As I struggle to stay conscious, I also struggle away from death. But it wont work, and I understand that. I try to accept it.

The pain, oh the pain. It's becoming excruciating. I can almost feel the cold brush of Death against my skin, hear it's harsh laughter at my agony. As I listen to the fighting around me -swords clanging, arrows whizzing by, the crunch as bones are broken- I can almost see the dark shadowy shape slithering around the bodies, sucking their souls out, sending them to the other world. I whimper in terror.

His laugh rings through my ears, and I know it will be the last thing I ever hear.

~*~

I need name suggestions for this part, if I end up leaving it just as a short story. I was thinking maybe Deaths' Caress, but am very open to other options. Let me know if you think of any!


Last edited by Delilah Roze on Sun Oct 17, 2010 9:43 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Changing title)
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Re: ~Death's Caress~

Post by Moshda on Sun Jun 13, 2010 7:12 pm

Wow. You've done a really great job, especially with setting the mood. The descriptions are great--I feel like I can see and hear everything going on. I really liked the phrase "the dark shadowy shape" --nice alliteration!

I like the title, Death's Caress. It's really good, and I'd love to see more! ^_^

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Re: ~Death's Caress~

Post by bgjings on Mon Jan 10, 2011 2:12 pm

This is a really good story! It really hooks you! I would love to see more!
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