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The Curse of Salem- Introduction

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Post by Delilah Roze Fri May 21, 2010 2:50 pm

I NEED OPINIONS ON THE TITLE. It will probably change, so suggestions are very welcome!

Hey guys! This is the story I just came up with yesterday evening. I already have the intro done (it's pretty short, but oh well) so I decided to post it. I'm working on chapter one right now (first draft). Hope you like it!!!

XOXO

DR
~*~

The mist hung low to the ground in dark, heavy clumps. The ground was damp, moistened by the recent rain. Tree branches hung low to the ground, cowering away from the dark roiling sky, and yet she continued on into the deepest, darkest depths of the forest.

She knew this could not wait.

As she stepped through brambles and bushes, the edge of her dark cloak trailed along the muddy ground, and her shoes became grimy. She went as quickly as she could, not wanting to trip or slip in the mud.

At last, she saw it. A light up ahead. She quickened her pace.

She emerged into a small circular clearing, trees surrounding it, hiding it from onlookers. In the center of this clearing was a campfire, and behind it stood two teenage girls, looking directly into the hot flames.

"Rebecca," the taller of the two girls spoke. She had a perfectly neat bun on the top of her blond head, and she stood regally, as if she were royalty. The other girl said nothing, but continued to stare into the fire.

Rebecca walked up to the fire, and bowed her head respectfully towards the blond girl. "Yes Mary, I'm sorry if I kept you and Elizabeth waiting." She looked at the hooded figure standing beside Mary.

Elizabeth pulled the hood of her cloak back, and a dark mass of curly hair tumbled down her back. She looked away from the fire, towards Mary. "Mary, what has happened? Why isn't Abigail coming?".

Rebecca looked at Mary, whose face was stiff and cold and... furious.

"Abigail left this note for us on her bed. I don't know when, but sometime earlier today." Mary produced a stiff piece of paper with clean black writing. "Read it."

Elizabeth took the note from Mary's hands, stared at it for a moment, and then spoke.

"Sisters, I can never be what you wish me to be. Evil, horrible, torturous. And I never want to be. The horrible things I have witnessed with you will haunt me forever, but I put my foot down now. It has become a burden I can no longer bear, and I do not wish to hold it any longer. I am leaving. Know that I will never come back, no matter what you do. I hope you will not try to find me. Abigail."

There was silence for a moment, but for the crackling of the fire. The shock that Rebecca and Elizabeth felt cannot be put into words. Mary took the note from Elizabeth, looked at it for a moment, and then spoke.

"We cannot allow this disgrace. She must be found, and her shame must be destroyed." Her cold eyes met Rebecca's, and then Elizabeth's. They both nodded. Mary looked towards the fire again. "I have already prepared the potion. Pack your essentials and meet me here at dawn".

Elizabeth snapped out of her daze, and said in a cold cruel voice, "Yes, Mary". Then she turned, and headed back into the forest.

Rebecca swallowed after she left, and felt tears of humiliation building up behind her eyes. "How could she do this? She seemed so happy..." she trailed off, glancing towards Mary.

Mary looked into Rebecca's eyes for a moment, and then back at the fire. She held the note in her hand.

"She did, she certainly did".

Mary threw the note onto the fire, and as it burned, she walked back into the forest.

~*~

COMMENTS/CRITIQUE NEEDED!


Last edited by Delilah Roze on Tue May 25, 2010 6:17 pm; edited 1 time in total
Delilah Roze
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Post by Delilah Roze Sat May 22, 2010 7:35 pm

Btw, I was going to edit it, but I didn't see an option to do that. Could you point it out, or let me know if there isn't one?
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Post by Moshda Sun May 23, 2010 5:44 pm

Ok, at the very top of the post, you'll see the title, who posted it, then at the right side there are three red buttons: "Multi-Quote, "Quote, *Edit.

Let me know if you don't see it.
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Post by Delilah Roze Sun May 23, 2010 5:51 pm

Ohhhh. I see it now. *blushes* I feel really stupid.
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Post by Moshda Mon May 24, 2010 8:56 am

Haha, it's ok. Sometimes you just can't find something unless you know where to look--I'm like that too!
*hug*
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